A quick one about how my life would be easier…

if my EFFING* IPHONE would stop reprimanding me in the most passive-aggressive way possible.

Instead of acting like the all-knowing Google Search Engine, just let me type what Imma type!

No, iPhone, I didn’t mean “he’ll,” I meant “HELL.”
As in: Why the HELL won’t you let me swear? Why in the HELL are you tryin’ to knock my hustle? 

I also didn’t mean “shut,” I meant “SHIT.” 
As in: “You’re just an electronic dictionary and don’t know shit about me or my choices.”

And, most prolifically, I have never meant “butch” in my entire life. It has always been and will always be “BITCH” that I’m trying to say. 
As in: “Quit being a bitch and let me bitch about some bitchy uber-bitch to the fiercest bitches around.”

Silver lining? The ol’ gal automatically recognizes: boobies and vodka after one letter only.

*Perhaps I’ve been censored for too long by my iPhone or perhaps I’m just more scared of my mother than I thought. Either way, excuse the edit.